I broke my fast today with the same person I started it all with, Pam. There is no conceivable way I could have made it through this time without her propping me up all along the way. Pam and I share similar passions and a similar heart for change, peace and justice. She has been one of the greatest gifts I have received in this journey to seek a better world and she came just at the right time.
Among friends here at our Elders meeting I filled my plate at the buffet with a hard-boiled egg, a piece of beef, asparagus and oddly enough, beans and rice (the plate looked out of balance with out the beans and rice). As I sat down to eat I was overwhelmed with emotion. Emotion I couldn’t understand but my eyes filled with tears and I had to sit for several moments and regain composure before eating. With incredible depth of insight Pam reached out and held my hand. It was hard to eat, I am still not sure why but it was and I didn’t eat much. I chose to sit at a table that continued discussions from our earlier board meeting about Zimbabwe. As I sat and ate, others around the table recounted the horror stories of what is now Zimbabwe. 4 to 5 Million People in need of aid; life expectancy which was once in the 50′s and 60′s now down to 36. A completely broken down and unsafe water system; water has to be trucked in. A healthcare system (if you can call it a system without implying any type of order) that runs at 1/3 capacity. And so on, and so on.
The celebratory feast I might have dreamed about during my fast was not that. It was drenched in emotion and new notice of yet another despicable tragedy on our globe. I have learned much about myself, much about my heart, much about my strengths and even more about my weaknesses. The reasons I began the fast were not the same reasons I continued it and are now not the same reasons I end it. I am left hungrier for change than food but more realistic about the hurdles that lie ahead. I am empty on one hand and recharged on the other.
This fast was deeply personal and it remains that. I must wake up to every new day with the courage to fight harder. I must fight at home and abroad. I must model for my young boys what really counts in the world and that they must have respect for all of mankind. I must be increasingly fervent in my prayers for a miracle, because a miracle is what it will take.
Much love and gratefulness for all who listened and heard, Shannon